Funny quotes about cool
Demetri Martin quotesI saw a guy at a party wearing a leather jacket and I though, 'That is cool.' But then I saw another guy wearing a leather vest and I thought, 'That is not cool'. Then I figured it out: 'Cool is all about leather sleeves.'
I like birthdays because we celebrate life with cakes. It's so cool. Sometimes when I see a baby, I'm like that much more cake in the world. But then when someone dies, I'm like the cake streak is over...
Skiing is my favorite sport, because, that's the only sport that is actually better to watch the worst the person is at it. "That guy won a gold medal in the Olympics" "Oh yeah, that's cool, i wanna watch the fat guy" "Come on dude, you can take that hill"
Chris Rock quotesAlcohol! Tastes great, I love it, you love it, we all love it. Kills motherfuckers every single day. Some of you all won't even make it home tonight 'cause of alcohol. You'll be like, "Oh, that Chris Rock sure is funny, oh! Shit!" But it's all right 'cause it's all white. Cigarettes! Cigarette's the most dangerous product known to man. Kills motherfuckers every single day. Cigarette's so dangerous it kills motherfuckers that don't smoke. That's how dangerous cigarettes are. That's right, first hand smoke, second hand smoke. People talking out of their necks into a fucking machine like, "Hey, what's up, man, I love cigarettes, this shit is cool." But it's all right 'cause it's all white. Shit, could you imagine if the Philip Morris family was a bunch of jheri-curled niggas from Mississippi? Do you know how illegal a pack of cigarettes would be? You would get sixty years just for a pack of Newports. But it's all right, 'cause it's all white.
John Bishop quotes“It must be cool having a dad who’s a comedian,” I overheard a friend say. “No,” came my son’s reply. “He’s a knob.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotesOne night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
Katt Williams quotesI know 50 done made it cool to get shot, ain't nothing cool about gettin' shot. I've been shot before, ain't shit cool about it. When I got shot, ain't no Music play, ain't no Bitches come out, Nothin'!
Doug Benson quotesLL Cool J should be the spokesman for a line of pajamas called Ladies Love Cool Jammies.
Whitney Cummings quotesI don't get what is so cool about dating DJ's. That's like dating a valet because he drives a nice car.
Dov Davidoff quotesWhy's God always got such wacky sh*t to say? When's the last time you heard somebody say, 'God told me to get a muffin and a cup of tea and cool out, man.'
Hannibal Buress quotesCome to your place at 5 in the monrning, eat your food, drink your drinks, leave at 6:30 without fucking like it’s cool. That’s a passive burglary.
I live in New York where in my neighborhood, a lot of dudes have handlebar mustaches. Which is cool if you want to have a handlebar mustache, but don’t try to have a conversation with me like you don’t have a handlebar mustache. Try to talk about regular stuff like music and politics? Nah dude if you got a handlebar mustache, all I want to hear you talk about is slinkys and kazoos and that’s it. Talk about kazoos for a few minutes then you hop on your unicycle and juggle you carnival-faced motherfucker.
I don’t like when people say ‘I’ll pray for you…’. You gon’ pray for me? So basically you’re gonna sit at home and do nothing? That what your prayers are, you doin’ nothing while I struggle with a situation, so don’t pray for me. Make me a sandwich or something. Because I’m very upset right now and I can’t make my own sandwiches, so that’d be cool if you made me a sandwich instead of prayin’
Bo Burnham quotesI'm Bo yo I'm the greatest rapper ever ever and I'll whether you weather, whether you think you better your not don't need a sweater im hot, im a really cool shorty who can really find your g-spot...what the fucks a g-spot.
Noel Fielding quotesWhen I was a little kid I always wanted to be ginger. My best friend was ginger and he was pretty cool.
