Latest stand-up videos
Best short quotes
Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
Surfing is both an ideological and semantic sin against nature.
"And tired" always followed sick. Worst beating I ever got in my life, my mother said, "I am just sick..." And I said, "And tired." I don't remember anything after that.
One thing I hope I'll never be is drunk with my own power. And anybody who says I am will never work in this town again.
I'm from a little place called England ... We used to run the world before you.
Got an offer to do my next special in 3D. Sounds cool but do you really want me coming into your house?
My father only hit me once - but he used a Volvo.
We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry people ain't allergic to shit. You think anyone in Rwanda's got a fucking lactose intolerance?!
They're working their way down. Next year, Todd Bridges gets the award. When I was a kid I wanted to be Eddie Murphy and now I'm a rip-off of Eddie Murphy."
I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think…is there nothing on the internet that I won’t masturbate to?
What is stand-up comedy?
Stand-up comedy is a performance for a live audience. Usually one or multiple performers called comics or stand-up comedians are speaking directly to their audience. Typically a performer tells a routine of jokes or funny monologue with various stories and anecdotes chained together.
It's not uncommon for acting, pantomime, magic tricks * or singing to be used to increase variety of such performance.
In United Kingdom stand-up comedy began gaining popularity in 18th century and raised many great performers like Arthur Askey, Max Miller and Ken Dodd. The comedians were heavily censored and had to get their act approved and adapted to the censorship.
