Latest stand-up videos
Best short quotes
Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure.
What's a bag of chips divided by five, that's a Nike worker's meal.
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
A quick way to start a conversation is to say something like "What's your favorite color?" A quick way to end a conversation is to say something like "What's your favorite color... person?"
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
I think they should make Twilight closets and all the cast members can walk out of them.
At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes.
Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing.
What is stand-up comedy?
Stand-up comedy is a performance for a live audience. Usually one or multiple performers called comics or stand-up comedians are speaking directly to their audience. Typically a performer tells a routine of jokes or funny monologue with various stories and anecdotes chained together.
It's not uncommon for acting, pantomime, magic tricks * or singing to be used to increase variety of such performance.
In United Kingdom stand-up comedy began gaining popularity in 18th century and raised many great performers like Arthur Askey, Max Miller and Ken Dodd. The comedians were heavily censored and had to get their act approved and adapted to the censorship.
