Best short quotes

People with Tourettes.....What makes them tick?

Here's a picture of me with REM. That's me in the corner.

There is nothing like making love to somebody you give a shit about.

My iPod holds 3,000 albums. I own, like, 90 albums. My iPod sits at home, sullen, frustrated, and underused, like a wife who gave up her career and the kids turned out to be shite.

I stopped and I thought, ‘What would Jesus do?” So I didn’t exist.

Then Jasper said "Look here, nigger, if anyone's gonna have sex with my sister, it's gonna be me."

If the cops didn’t see it, I didn’t do it!

I'm Rick James, bitch.

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.

Ya back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid, well that and fagot.

What is stand-up comedy?

Stand-up comedy is a performance for a live audience. Usually one or multiple performers called comics or stand-up comedians are speaking directly to their audience. Typically a performer tells a routine of jokes or funny monologue with various stories and anecdotes chained together.

It's not uncommon for acting, pantomime, magic tricks * or singing to be used to increase variety of such performance.

In United Kingdom stand-up comedy began gaining popularity in 18th century and raised many great performers like Arthur Askey, Max Miller and Ken Dodd. The comedians were heavily censored and had to get their act approved and adapted to the censorship.