Best short quotes

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just like "shut up, shut up, shut up...blah blah blah blah blaaaaah."

Here's a picture of me with REM. That's me in the corner.

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

I ran three miles today... finally I said, "Lady, take your purse."

The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.

If the terrorists hated freedom, the Netherlands would be fucking dust.

Hey baby, baby go home man its three o'clock in the morning what the fuck are you doing up. The baby said I'm sellin' weed nigger.

Don't you hate when people are late to work. And they always have the worst excuses. "Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, traffic." "Traffic, huh? How do you think I got here; helicoptered in!?"