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How long is it polite to continue to be interested in what someone says after they reveal they've got a boyfriend?
You can’t argue with a good blowjob.
Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures”.
I'm not a fighter, I'm a bleeder.
I keep it very family-friendly, ... Every now and then I’ll slip a little bit, but that’s just the way I perform.
Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't.
[Tequila] is not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone.
We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.