Best short quotes

I’m circumcised ‘cause I don’t cum from the hood.

I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it.

Look at his face. I bet his cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl.

I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

I think if you get kicked in the face you deserved it because that means that you watched the foot come to your face.

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.

Sit back there and say my hair ain't luxurious, when you know it is, bitch!

I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.

These glasses are way 2 big for my damn face! I look like I got on a damn Tinted Construction Mask.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.