Best short quotes

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!

New white people, you can't scare these white people, I tried.

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.

A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss.

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

We are in the stickiest situation since sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun.

People with Tourettes.....What makes them tick?

It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!

When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

What is stand-up comedy?

Stand-up comedy is a performance for a live audience. Usually one or multiple performers called comics or stand-up comedians are speaking directly to their audience. Typically a performer tells a routine of jokes or funny monologue with various stories and anecdotes chained together.

It's not uncommon for acting, pantomime, magic tricks * or singing to be used to increase variety of such performance.

In United Kingdom stand-up comedy began gaining popularity in 18th century and raised many great performers like Arthur Askey, Max Miller and Ken Dodd. The comedians were heavily censored and had to get their act approved and adapted to the censorship.