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I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.
The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number still 911? Aaaalrighty then.
My father walked to school 4 o'clock every morning with no shoes on, uphill, both ways, in 5 feet of snow and he was thankful.
I hate seeing people that look like you. Especially if God's living by the motto 'If at first you don't succeed'
I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
These glasses are way 2 big for my damn face! I look like I got on a damn Tinted Construction Mask.
I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage.
Fruit... it's just God showing off. "Look at all the colours I know!"
My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals.