Best short quotes

I have a deep and profound mistrust of all politicians.

A grandchild is God's reward for raising a child.

Ain't noone ever overdosed on weed. You might think that nigga is dead, but he ain't dead. He's gonna wake up in half an hour, and eat eve-erything.

I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.

You should be as alive as you can, until you're totally dead!

Its too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin’ around here.

Don't give advice. It will come back and bite you in the [butt]. Don't take anyone's advice. So, my advice to you is to be true to yourself and everything will be fine.

My wife is impossible. It is only safe to wake her from a distance, like Portugal.

But this Mother fucker here Nigga, This shit right here nigga; This is a love seat Nigga! I can't even sit on this if I ain't in love Nigga! What Kind of shit is that!

I once walked in on my grandparents making love...And that's why I don't eat raisins.