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Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net.
If 13 is unlucky, then 12 and 14 are guilty by association.
Is it rude to Twitter during sex? To go "omg, omg, wtf, zzz"? Is that rude?
Amy Winehouse – her surname’s beginning to sound like a description of her liver.
There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.
Surfing is both an ideological and semantic sin against nature.
I was on the toilet for so long, I finally said to myself, “I’m getting too old for this shit.”
If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
What is stand-up comedy?
Stand-up comedy is a performance for a live audience. Usually one or multiple performers called comics or stand-up comedians are speaking directly to their audience. Typically a performer tells a routine of jokes or funny monologue with various stories and anecdotes chained together.
It's not uncommon for acting, pantomime, magic tricks * or singing to be used to increase variety of such performance.
In United Kingdom stand-up comedy began gaining popularity in 18th century and raised many great performers like Arthur Askey, Max Miller and Ken Dodd. The comedians were heavily censored and had to get their act approved and adapted to the censorship.
