Funny Bo Burnham quotes

Humour is often linked to shared experience. Like, a guy gets up and says, "Have you noticed public restrooms have really inefficient hand-dryers?" Oh my God, yes I have, hahaha, really good point, they should... fix that. It's good to know that somebody finally gets me!

My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish. She used to like to dress up as herself and then act like a f*ckin' bitch all the time.

Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.

I'm constipated, couldn't give a shit.

For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.

Where are all the sour patch parents?

Dick's and vagina's are like Coke and Pepsi, I strongly prefer one but my dad thinks they both taste the same.

What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy.

Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't.