Comedian Rodney Dangerfield
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Top 5 quotes
My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.
One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out".
My girlfriend is so ugly, two guys broke into her apartment. She yelled "Rape!" They yelled "NO!"
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.