Funny quotes about work
Richard Pryor quotesI was brought up in a whorehouse in Peoria. My mother and father lived there and worked there.
The black groups that boycott certain films would do better to get the money together to make the films they want to see, or stay in church and leave us to our work.
Woody Allen quotesI don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
And how does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?
Mike Birbiglia quotesI read recently that women still make 30% less than men in the workplace. Which I think is fine, cause if we didn't make 30% more, you guys would marry each other.
Emo Phillips quotesWhen I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised, the Lord doesn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked Him to forgive me. ... and I got it!
Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?
Russell Peters quotesWoman are always thinking. Always. Their brains are continuously working. They are just thinking of shit all the time. Right now Vicky could be looking at the stage and thinking "I wonder what the stage is made out of. Is that microphone heavy? What if its a heavy microphone."
Jim Gaffigan quotesSometimes being lazy can get you in trouble. You ever not take a shower all weekend, just lounge around, then you're running late for work on Monday? There's always one person at work: "Something smells like smoke in here!" "Uh, I went to a barbeque on Friday night. Only had 48 hours to take a shower. Busy."
You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, "Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out."
I even enjoy watching people make food. But you ever notice the Food Network is far more interesting when you're hungry? When you're full you're like "This is stupid..." But when you are hungry the Food Network's like porn. You're like "Oh yeah...whip it up baby! Make it for me!" It is a little embarassing when someone catches you watching the Food Network..."What are you watching?" "Uh, the Food Network..." "Well, why are you pants off?" "I like food...a lot."
Brian Regan quotesIt’s good to be here. I’m just trying to go through life without looking stupid. It’s not working out too well.
So when you do board, the first class people, they're sitting there. A lot of them are working as your boarding. They have computers out and calculators. They're looking up at you like, "Hey, we're making money right now! Right now we're making money.
Steve Martin quotesWhen your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when your hobbies get in the way of themselves... well.
