Funny George Lopez quotes

Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.

[after catching his daughter dating a teenage boy] From now on, we're home schooling you. Whatever we don't know, you don't know. When did the Korean War start? I don't know, and neither do you!

(While teaching his son to play baseball): "We're Mexi-cans not Mexi-can'ts."

"It's a wonderful day when white people black people and Hispanics all come together, to pick on another minority"

When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said ' you wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!

I can never do nothing in this house!

If you make waffles, throw out the first one.

Two wrongs do not make a right; but three rights make a left.

We are now the proud owners of a white boy. Now we have to shop in the caucasian isle and get sunscreen, mayonaise and mild salsa because the other ones really hawt!

No Angie, it's instant. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose, the guy next to you is laughing so hard he accidentally farts. BOOM! Friends for life!

You know how Mexican restaurants always have “border” in the name: Border Grill, Border Cafe. You wouldn’t do that to black people: Kunta’s Kitchen or Shackles. They don’t do it to white people. You don’t see the Honkey Grill, the Cracker Barrel…. oh, nevermind.

Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through!

Y'know, if those pews reclined, and the priests gave the Raiders scores I'd go to church every Sunday.

Sarah Palin HAS to be Latina: she has a job and her husband don't work. She's gonna be a grandma, and has an infant-she's Latina.

As long as you're a tax deduction, you'll always be safe in my house.

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