Funny Adam Sandler quotes

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

I shouldn't be near Vegas and have money in my pocket.

Its too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin’ around here.

He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?

I’ve got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I’m the only person who ever tried that.

I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.

Some of us will never ever find true love. Take, for instance me. And I'm pretty sure that guy right there. And that lady with the sideburns. And basically everybody at table nine.

Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!

I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile.

It's just weird that out of nowhere God said, "May the three best-looking guys in Hollywood have babies - Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt and me". It was bizarre that God said, "I want to make the planet more beautiful", and I got the call.

If I saw myself dressed like that, I'd have to kick my own ass.

First I asked her what time it is, right? Tomorrow I get to ask her the date, the day after that she's all over me. That's how it works, you play it slow.

Having a kid is great... as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or talking.

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