Funny George Lopez quotes

Presents? We already bought you a lot of things. Member when we were at the market and I bought you gum? You'member.

Just yesterday you were my little girl on a tricycle. Now you're a young woman in a car, running over a little girl on a tricycle.

George: Why've you had a grudge against your brother for 15 years? Benny: We Lopezes are a proud people... George: You have a birthday lunch at Denny's every month. We're not that proud!

Max: What's a period? George: It's a bullet we dodge, go get ready.

This is L.A. You wanna learn Spanish? Take the bus.

[Seeing Benny's breast implants] My God, Mom! You swallowed a bouncy house!

One time, I was so hungry, I ate the beans in a bean bag chair.

When we got married, we agreed on a boy for me, and a girl for you. Mine's upstairs sleeping. Good luck with yours!

I'd shake his hand, but I think that's what's holding up his pants.

At the factory, I deal with ex-cons, substance abusers, and sexual harassers. And I'm not just talking about my mom.

Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when your shoes pinch. Good luck, Bambi!

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