Funny quotes about presents

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said "Happy Birthday" on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote "Jesus" on it.

Presents? We already bought you a lot of things. Member when we were at the market and I bought you gum? You'member.

Now, the magic of British parks at night, as Bill Oddie presents.. Gaywatch.

The weekend represents the 48 hours that you have to fuck up the life you worked so hard for all week.