Funny George Lopez quotes

Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.

[after catching his daughter dating a teenage boy] From now on, we're home schooling you. Whatever we don't know, you don't know. When did the Korean War start? I don't know, and neither do you!

(While teaching his son to play baseball): "We're Mexi-cans not Mexi-can'ts."

"It's a wonderful day when white people black people and Hispanics all come together, to pick on another minority"

When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said ' you wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!

I can never do nothing in this house!

If you make waffles, throw out the first one.

Two wrongs do not make a right; but three rights make a left.

We are now the proud owners of a white boy. Now we have to shop in the caucasian isle and get sunscreen, mayonaise and mild salsa because the other ones really hawt!

No Angie, it's instant. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose, the guy next to you is laughing so hard he accidentally farts. BOOM! Friends for life!