Funny Jim Norton quotes
I’m a big fan of talking dirty, but not everyone is good at it. I happen to be very good at it because I’m comfortable. I’ll say something sexy like, “You like that shit!”
They don’t tend to feature the kind of vaginas I like in adult films. I tend to like a thick, heavy pussy - the kind of pussy that looks like it just smoked an exploding cartoon cigar.
God, do I hate my little fat tits. You ever pinch your little meat tits and wish you were dead? You ever just stand naked in the mirror. “You little fat-titted mediocre failure!” You ever do that for 3 hours on New Year’s Eve.
I had a three year relationship end. Ever have somebody just freak out on you in a relationship? Things are going great. After three years she wants to run out and find a guy that doesn’t hit her.
I'd rather hug Magic Johnson after he rolled around in barbed wire.
I don't have kids. That's why I leave it in the dumper or in the mouth, because I hate kids.
What's the name of the birth defect you have, trampled by a horse during the 2nd trimester?
I hope you accidentally drink leukemia at a picnic
That's an interesting accent you got there. Are you from stroke-victim?
You have the sex appeal of Norman Fell.
I don't pull out because...it's not my problem.
Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades.
I hope you have a miscarriage on a Walmart floor and have the baby's room already decorated.
It's not rape if she blinks twice for yes.
I hope you slip in a puddle of AIDS and crack your head open
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