Funny Bill Hicks quotes

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather.

A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a fucking cross? It's like going up to Jackie Onassis wearing a rifle pendant.

They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference.

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.

If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them.

I have never seen two people on pot get in a fight because it is fucking IMPOSSIBLE. "Hey, buddy!" "Hey, what?" "Ummmmmmm...." End of argument.

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fuckin' mouth.

I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.

"This is your brain." I've seen a lot of weird shit on drugs. I have never ever ever ever EVER looked at a fucking egg and thought it was a brain.

I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.

I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me.

I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.

If you're so pro-life, do me a favour: don't lock arms and block medical clinics. If you're so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.

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