Funny Gilbert Gottfried quotes
I've always said my career is somewhere between children's programming and hard-core porn.
I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.
I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.
I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.
If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house.
No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.
The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.
Unfortunately, I've never been mistaken as Johnny Depp.
Well, I play Jews and parrots. Parrots are how I've branched out.
Well, I'm eventually gonna take the Daryl Hannah parts.
I've done a lot of Fox shows since then - Married with Children, Living Single and a whole bunch of other Fox things.
Last night I was having dinner with Charles Manson, and in the middle of dinner he turned to me and said, "Is it hot in here, or am I crazy?"
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