Comedian Dylan Moran
Irish stand-up comedian, writer, actor and filmmaker. He is best known for his sardonic observational comedy, the UK television sitcom Black Books, and his work with Simon Pegg in Shaun of the Dead and Run Fatboy Run.
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Top 5 quotes
I'm quite a compulsive person—I only worked this out recently—I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.
What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you in the face and talking gibberish. They can't even walk straight.
Fruit... it's just God showing off. "Look at all the colours I know!"
Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!
You should be as alive as you can, until you're totally dead!