Funny Steve Martin quotes

Don't have sex, men. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal - high enough so you can look up her dress

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

I gave my cat a bath the other day... they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, if was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that...

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

Boy, those French: They have a different word for everything!

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

Love is a promise delivered already broken.

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be.

I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.

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