Funny Rodney Dangerfield quotes

I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster.

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.

My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.

She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.

She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.

There's only one thing wrong with my wife's face - it shows.

She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.

I asked him "Who said you could fool around with my wife" he said everybody.

I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.

I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.

His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blow onion rings.

My wife has to be the worst cook. Her specialty is indigestion.

My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark

My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.

Why her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door. I leave dental floss in the kitchen and watch the roaches hang themselves.