Funny Rodney Dangerfield quotes

I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.

I bought a perfect second car ... a tow truck.

My wife had her drivers test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.

My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There are a pair of shoes on the dashboard. they belong to the last guy she hit.

My cousins gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.

My cousins gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.

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