Funny quotes about white
Katt Williams quotesMost people think white people can't dance. Truth is, white people be too fucked up to dance.
First of all white people, please stop putting those lil blue leashes on your children, PLEASE STOP DOIN THAT! that is only entertainment for niggas. thats all that is! we be excited then a motha fucka 'just look at him look at hi-' that's why white kids grow up and kill everybody in the god damn school cuz you done treat him like a German Shepperd ever since they was three!
Doug Stanhope quotesI don't like when minorities tell me that I can't understand racism because I'm white. I go: "No, you can't understand racism 'cause you're not white; I hear the shit they say about you when you leave the room! They don't hold back on my account."
Zach Galifianakis quotesHave you seen that show on CBS called 'The Amazing Race'? Is that show about white people?
I'd like to do a reality show with four white people...who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the show would be called...Cracker Hunt.
Hannibal Buress quotesWe were talking about urban youth. And by urban I mean lives in a city not urban as in black like white people use it.
Martin Lawrence quotesWhite parents use time out. My mom used a different type of time out. She'd be like "there, take time out to pick up your teeth."
Adam Carolla quotesWhen Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
Ellen DeGeneres quotesI was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position. My chakras were all aligned. My mind is cleared of all clatter and I'm looking out of my third eye and everything that I'm supposed to be doing. It's amazing what comes up, when you sit in that silence. 'Mama keeps whites bright like the sunlight, Mama's got the magic of Clorox 2.'
Aries Spears quotesI like to go to the frat house and drink with my white friends, because anytime you go drinking at the frat house, white boys bring you a drink and hand it to you like it's a top CIA secret. They'll hand me my drink, and I'll go, 'Man, what the hell is in this?' 'Dude, don't worry. Don't ask, just drink it. I'll see you in 20 minutes.' Next thing you know, I'm buck naked, standing on a coffee table, with a cowboy hat.
I know when the anthrax thing hit -- white people, y'all was very nervous. Y'all would come up to me at work and warn me, like 'Oh my God, Aries, be careful. Don't open your mail.' Let me tell you something -- black folks was never worried about anthrax because, half the time, we don't open our mail no way. We might think that's a bill. We might hold it to the light and go, 'That's a red slip.' If you want to get us with anthrax, put that in a Jay-Z CD. That's how you get us.
You knew at some point that he was supposed to win. He had all the right ingredients that came together at the right time. He's tall, good looking, articulate, highly intelligent, smooth under pressure, charismatic and, most importantly, he was the right shade. He made white people feel comfortable. 'Cause you all know if that n***er was Bernie Mac black or 'Precious' purple, he wouldn't have won. He's like coffee with cream; it goes down easy. You ever have coffee black? It's too strong.
Gary Owen quotesIf you're a white guy and you're sleeping with a black girl, there's only one way you know if you're putting it down like you should. Don't listen to 'Oh, you're the biggest. You're the best.' Don't listen to that -- she says that to everybody. Don't listen to that. The only way you know is, in the middle of sex, she grabs the back of your head, looks you dead in the face, and calls you the n-word. When you can make her ass forget you're white, that's when you know you're putting it down.
Dat Phan quotesI don't think she's racist, but I think she's old fashioned, you know? And she doesn't know how to, like, talk about it with me. She's like, 'Dat Phan, you like the soup? Eat the soup. Right there. You like the soup? Why you date the white girl?'
Frankie Boyle quotesBarack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.
