Funny quotes about ugly

The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly.

If you have to release bad news to the public, it would help if you are not ugly.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

Life is a little easier for attractive people, can we admit that? Think about it, if a stranger smiles at you and they're attractive, you think, "Oh, they're nice," but if the stranger's ugly, you're like, "What do they want? Get away from me weirdo."

A couple weeks ago I was on the street and I saw an ugly pregnant lady, and I just thought, 'Good for you.'

The first time I was on TV, on “Flight of the Conchords,” someone put up a YouTube clip and said, ‘You’re too ugly to be on TV.’ And I was like, ‘That is exactly why it’s a good thing that I’m on TV.’

My girlfriend is so ugly, two guys broke into her apartment. She yelled "Rape!" They yelled "NO!"

I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.

I knew a girl so ugly, the last time I saw a mouth like hers it had a hook on the end of it.