Funny quotes about time
Eddie Izzard quotesThere's not much makeup in the army, is there? No. They only have that nighttime look, and that's a bit slapdash, isn't it?
And the druids, they were into sex and death in an interesting night-time telly sort of way.
Dara O Briain quotesI think the English are bipolar. ‘We’re the greatest, no we’re terrible’ – that’s a constant English struggle. Crime is down, there’s little poverty – yet it’s always the worst time to have lived here.
This is the first time that Irish people go: ‘You’re going to England? Sure it’s full of terrorists. Come to Ireland. We’ve no terrorists. They’re all playwrights now.’
Adam Ferrara quotesBeing in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'
The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents -- 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years -- what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'
Bill Hicks quotesChildren are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.
Craig Ferguson quotesI freely admit I'm confused. I'm a confused and troubled individual but at the same time...Its Free!
I think holidays create so much pressure because people feel they should be having a good time. But you shouldn't.
The legendary Dick Van Dyke on the show tonight. The actor not the pubic beard style. Although... maybe it's time for something new.
Gabriel Iglesias quotesBig time, ... I’m always ready for TV. I don’t have to edit my jokes — when you work clean, you can work anywhere.
