Funny quotes about tequila

If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.

[Tequila] is not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

At the millennium we partied like it was 1999. And then we had a 10 year bathtub tequila hangover, man. Just hugging the metaphorical toilet on a daily basis.