Funny quotes about sleeping
Mitch Hedberg quotes
Emo Phillips quotes
Demetri Martin quotesI got some new pajamas with pockets in 'em. Which is great, because before that, I used to have to hold stuff when I slept. But now I'm like, 'Where's my planner? There it is. "Keep sleeping." All right, perfect.'
Rodney Dangerfield quotesI went to my doctor and told him, "Hey, Doc! I just took an entire bottle of sleeping pills. What should I do?" He said, "Go home, have a couple of drinks, and get some rest!!"
George Lopez quotesWhen we got married, we agreed on a boy for me, and a girl for you. Mine's upstairs sleeping. Good luck with yours!
Kevin Hart quotesHow do people shit on themselves when they are sleeping? That's some nasty shit....like what kinda sick dream were you having that caused that.
Chelsea Handler quotesI think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.
Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either.
Gary Owen quotesIf you're a white guy and you're sleeping with a black girl, there's only one way you know if you're putting it down like you should. Don't listen to 'Oh, you're the biggest. You're the best.' Don't listen to that -- she says that to everybody. Don't listen to that. The only way you know is, in the middle of sex, she grabs the back of your head, looks you dead in the face, and calls you the n-word. When you can make her ass forget you're white, that's when you know you're putting it down.
