Funny quotes about sleeping

A sleeping bag is a tortilla for a human.

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.

I got some new pajamas with pockets in 'em. Which is great, because before that, I used to have to hold stuff when I slept. But now I'm like, 'Where's my planner? There it is. "Keep sleeping." All right, perfect.'

I went to my doctor and told him, "Hey, Doc! I just took an entire bottle of sleeping pills. What should I do?" He said, "Go home, have a couple of drinks, and get some rest!!"

When we got married, we agreed on a boy for me, and a girl for you. Mine's upstairs sleeping. Good luck with yours!

How do people shit on themselves when they are sleeping? That's some nasty what kinda sick dream were you having that caused that.

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either.

If you're a white guy and you're sleeping with a black girl, there's only one way you know if you're putting it down like you should. Don't listen to 'Oh, you're the biggest. You're the best.' Don't listen to that -- she says that to everybody. Don't listen to that. The only way you know is, in the middle of sex, she grabs the back of your head, looks you dead in the face, and calls you the n-word. When you can make her ass forget you're white, that's when you know you're putting it down.