Funny quotes about parents
Jeff Foxworthy quotesWhen I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, "Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn."
Bill Engvall quotesNo parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.
Jack Whitehall quotes(On Robert Pattinson.) Our parents know each other a bit and my hair is just as good as his.
Charles 'Chic' Murray quotes
Billy Connolly quotesMy parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
Anthony Jeselnik quotesShe got really mad a month ago, because she had e-mailed me a naked picture of herself — which is a nice thing to do — but then I messed up, and I accidentally forwarded that e-mail to both of my parents. Now, my girlfriend is furious, mortified, but I don’t even care, ’cause now I have to call up my mother and say ‘Mom, I am so sorry — that picture was just for dad.’
We just found out my little brother has a peanut allergy, which is very serious I know. But still I feel like my parents are totally overreacting — they caught me eating a tiny little bag of airline peanuts and they kicked me out of his funeral.
Christopher Titus quotesAnd me having kids, with my family history? My mom: mentally ill, shot and killed her last husband. My father: six ex-wives, four heart attacks. Both of my parents think alcohol is a food group.
