Funny quotes about night
Eddie Izzard quotesThere's not much makeup in the army, is there? No. They only have that nighttime look, and that's a bit slapdash, isn't it?
And the druids, they were into sex and death in an interesting night-time telly sort of way.
Adam Ferrara quotesI know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.
As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...
I woke up my pop in the middle of the night 'cause the boogie man's under my bed. My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, 'Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man's under the bed!' Pop opens one eye, he's like, 'Is the boogie man bigger than me?' 'Well, no Daddy, he's not.' 'Well, you got your choice: you can deal with the boogie man or you can deal with me.'
Bill Hicks quotesGod help me. I'm so tired. I need my sleep. I make no bones about it. I need eight hours a day, and at least ten at night. . .
I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage.
People are bringing shotguns to UFO sightings in Fife, Alabama. I asked a guy, "Why do you bring a gun to a UFO sighting?" Guy said, "Way-ul, we didn' wanna be ab-duc-ted." If I lived in Fife, Alabama, I would be on my hands and knees every night praying for abduction.
Craig Ferguson quotesTwas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.
The legendary Dick Van Dyke on the show tonight. The actor not the pubic beard style. Although... maybe it's time for something new.
Dylan Moran quotesBut you see, you measure what a good time you had by how much it fucks you up. You go out tonight, get ripped, get shitfaced. You'll wake up tomorrow and somebody will talk to you, and ask: "How was last night?". You'll say: "It was fantastic! I can't see. No sens- no feeling, nothing, no sensation down the left side of my body. Oh! I can't even form sentences! You should've come, you would've at least lost an ear!
George Carlin quotesThe other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
Weather forecast for tonight: Dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
