Funny quotes about money
Greg Giraldo quotesOn Seth Macfarlane, creator of Family Guy: ”You made all your money because you created a f*cked up, criminal baby. You’re like Michael Lohan.”
Charles 'Chic' Murray quotesThis friend of mine had a terrible upbringing. When his mother lifted him up to feed him, his father rented the pram out. Then, when they came into money later, his mother hired a woman to push the pram - and he’s been pushed for money ever since.
Bob Hope quotesA bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.
Tommy Cooper quotesAnd the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?' He said 'Yes, this my livelihood.'
Nate Bargatze quotesThere's this new device you can buy for your car and it's got a keyless device and you press it, it's got a heartbeat detector on it. So you aim it at your car, you press it, if it flashes that means someone is in your car and they're going to kill you, all right? It's not going to be good -- so you press it. If you want to buy it it's like $550. If you do not have that money you can do the old school route which is just look in the window.
Anthony Jeselnik quotesWhen I finished high school I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. Buy my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle.
Nick Kroll quotesAnyone you give a ton of money to is going to go slightly crazy. I don't think comedians are particularly special in that regard; they just are better or more vocal in their expressions of their craziness.
