Funny quotes about marriage

The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents -- 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years -- what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'

I say no to gay marriage. It'll end up leading to gay divorce, and that'll be bitchy.

You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) ‘It’s the same sex all the time.

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying till I get it right.

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers.

Marriage is the death of hope.

I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?