Funny quotes about love

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.

Dr. Phil was very helpful and caring. I believe he helped all of us there and watching how to better relate, understand, and communicate with our families and loved ones. Dr. Phil recommended reading my new book.

Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead.

Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn't show up on X-rays, but you know it's there.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.

Men hate to lose. I beat my husband once at tennis. I asked him, "Will we ever make love again?" He said, "Yes.... but not with each other."

Then people ask me if I'm worried about the effects of global warming on my kids. Well, obviously I love my kids and I want them to live to be a 100. So that's another 1.8 degrees. My kids’ kids? Three point six. I'll just tell them we moved to Phoenix.

After seven years of marriage, I'm sure of two things -- first, never wallpaper together, and second, you'll need two bathrooms.. both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in.

Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. . . It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail.

I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.