Funny quotes about kid
When I'm 70 I might be a man in a park just wandering around, speaking in tongues with kids throwing bread at me.
When I was a little kid I wanted to be Face [A-Team]. I thought, cos I had blond hair and he did too, that when I grew up I'd look like him.
When I was a little kid I always wanted to be ginger. My best friend was ginger and he was pretty cool.
I knew comedy was the thing for me when I was the only Asian kid in high school... who failed math.
Christmases were terrible, not like nowadays when kids get everything. My sister got a miniature set of perfumes called ‘Ample’. It was tiny, but even I could see where my dad had scraped off the S.
We've got to the stage where Sparrows and Otters are becoming extinct. I mean the next series of Spring Watch is going to be like Schindler's list. Just all shown in black and white with a little Robins red breast. Bill Oddie smuggling Badgers through Belgium. But the Panda's want to die, the Panda's want to die out and we're forcing them to have sex. Can you imagine that on your death bed some zoo keeper's trying to make you hump someone? I can. It's not all bad extinction is it? I mean it's less stuff to have to learn to teach your kids. "What's that daddy?" Well it's a dog cause there's only dogs left.
The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?
Breaking News : Prince Harry met some children yesterday who`d been blown up in landmines. "How do you cope being legless everyday?" the kids asked Harry.
I don't have kids. That's why I leave it in the dumper or in the mouth, because I hate kids.
When I was a kid I used to hate getting picked for team sports. It would be the fit and sporty guys over there. And me and the fat kids over here. Those kids were fat! One girl had to be cut out a hula hoop.
I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say ‘bought’, I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.
I used to binge-eat and make myself throw up. I was a fat kid. Obviously I didn’t quite master the bulimia.