Funny quotes about job
Maria Bamford quotesI'm not looking for much [in a guy], I just want, like, a really nice guy who has, you know, like a job... and the missing half of this golden amulet.
Tina Fey quotesAn interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women's Affairs. Man, who'd she have to show here ankles to to get that job?
Chris Rock quotesRight now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
Milton Jones quotesEasiest job in the world of course, Australian psychiatrist, “Gday Gday how you doing no worries next”.
I lost my job as a cricket commentator for saying “I don’t want to bore you with the details”.
The pollen count, now that’s a difficult job. Especially if you’ve got hay fever.
The worst job I ever had was as a forensicologist for the United Nations. One time I thought I'd come across the mass grave of a thousand snowmen, but it turns out it was just a field of carrots.
Tim Allen quotesWomen now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.
Rodney Dangerfield quotesOnce I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guys pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
George Lopez quotesSarah Palin HAS to be Latina: she has a job and her husband don't work. She's gonna be a grandma, and has an infant-she's Latina.
Katt Williams quotesIf you ain't got no job and you ain't smokin no weed, I dont know what the fuck you are doing with yo life.
Marc Maron quotesThey are not testing comics for drugs. If our job is dependent on that, there would be three working comics in the country, and two of them would have puppets.
Doug Stanhope quotesA real cop fights real crime. A vice cop's only job is to ruin the party.
Are there any vice cops in here? You dicks. How do you do that for a living? I don't understand. I first read these stories and I think "Don't you have real crime to fight somewhere?" But then you think about it vice cops don't fight real crime; that's not their job. Real cops fight real crime. A vice cop's only job is to fuck up the party.
