Funny quotes about hate
Alan Carr quotesWhen I was a kid I used to hate getting picked for team sports. It would be the fit and sporty guys over there. And me and the fat kids over here. Those kids were fat! One girl had to be cut out a hula hoop.
I hate my supervisor. Behind her desk it says. ‘You don’t have to be mad to work her, but it helps. ‘Mind you, she’s written it in her own shit.”
quotesRichard said, "The next time the motherfucker call, tell him I said, "Suck *my* dick." I don't give a fuck. Whatever the fuck make the people laugh, say that shit. Do the people laugh when you say what you say?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Do you get paid?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Well, tell Bill I said have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up. Jello pudding-eating motherfucker."
David Mitchell quotesI suppose doing things you hate is just the price you pay to avoid loneliness.
Carl Barron quotesI hate dates. I sit at home all day, and I don't fart once. I go on a date and I've got twenty in the bank straight away.
John Oliver quotesOne little boy turned to the kid next to him, and he said, 'I hate you.' And this kid was devastated. He started crying those only tears you can cry as a child. He was saying, 'I don't know why you hate me; I don't know what I have done to make you hate me.' And then softy, so quietly you had to strain to hear it, he said, 'Fuck.' And the first boy heard him and said, 'Hold On. Do you swear?' And he said yes, and they were friends again. Don't tell me swearing it wrong. I have seen it's healing properties.
Greg Giraldo quotesTerrorism is obviously on everybody's mind. The other day my son says to me, 'Daddy, how come the bad men hate us?' How sad is that? I actually got tears in my eyes -- because he's 18. What kind of a moron am I raising?
Steve Harvey quotesComedians walk out, get a feel for the crowd. If it's not going good, we change directions. If we got to drag your momma into this thing, we will. Whatever we got to do.
Bernie Mac quotes
Billy Connolly quotesI was always shit at mathematics, I was never ever good. And I don't care. I don't give a shit. Algebra was a mystery to me. "Connolly 1A plus 1B?" He he. You're taking the piss right sir? You can't count letters you can only count numbers silly. Unless of course I was absent. The day we did the B times table. One B's B, two B's are a couple of B's. Three B's are a couple of B's plus the one we spoke about in the first place. Four B's two couple of B's what's the fucking problem there? So, I'm don't on record at school saying why should I learn Algebra? I've no intention of ever going there. The whole thing was a mystery to me. I mean is there anything more useless or less useful than Algebra? I have never used Algebra since the day I left school. No one's ever asked me. I've never seen anybody using it. I've never heard of anybody who once used it. And I would hate anybody who tried to use it. Can you imagine, you're going along the street. A tourist comes up, "Excuse me. I wonder if you could direct me to the old windmill?" Certainly, let X equal the windmill. "Ohh fuck it, I'll ask somebody else. Let's do a simple equation, why don't you shut the fuck up!".
Will Ferrell quotesIn every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have one? Then it's probably you.
Bob Saget quotesI don't like the negative of reality tv - the 'you're no good, so you have to leave, I choose you, but I thought you really loved me.' It's all about how bad people are and I just hate that. I like Pimp my Ride where someone is helping somebody.
Dane Cook quotesAnd you know that family, every few months, for years, from time to time, whatever it is they're doing they would just stop, stop and look at each other and go... what the fuck did they take?
We had Monopoly, everybody did. No one liked it. Even if you think you liked the game you didn't. And it's simple why, two and a half hours into a game this is all you'd hear... [boom] Fuck this game! It's four in the morning grandma, you win! I'm sitting on Baltic with crack. I'm paying luxury tax up the ass! And I hate it when you're the banker. Where did you get the pink fifties from your cheating whore. Don't fucking touch me grandpa! Nana, is a cheating whore! I should cut your head off with the little doggie. We were so poor growing up, that little iron, we had to use that little iron. It's not funny. Takes a long time to iron a shirt with that tiny little iron. Sss. Oww. Sss. Ooo hot.
