Funny quotes about hard

I'm a big boy, but I can get jiggy with it. Ladies, I will go to dance clubs, and I will tear it up hardcore for a good 30 seconds.

I'm a vegetarian, well I'm not hardcore because I eat meat, but only because I like the taste, and I hate vegetables on a personal level so I'm not too good!

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.

A lollipop is a cross between hard candy and garbage.

I'm a hard act to follow, because when I'm done, I take the microphone with me.

I can't floss my teeth. People tell me how hard it is to stop smoking; I think it's about as hard as it is to start flossing.

It's hard to dance if you just your lost wallet. "Whoa! Where's my wallet? But, hey this song is funky."

It's hard to really look at somebody and go: "Hey, maybe something nice will happen." You just don't-- I know too much about life to have any optimism, because I know even if it's nice, it's going to lead to shit. I know that if you smile at somebody and they smile back, you've just decided that something shitty is going to happen.

Writing is thinking and thinking is hard work.

Is oral sex adultery? Yes! That's the end of the fucking argument. There's nothing to discuss. If curling is an Olympic sport, then oral sex is adultery. And oral sex should be an Olympic sport. I would like to see that. Ice skating, then blowjobs. I certainly would stay through whatever commercials they had. I think oral sex should be an Olympic sport because it's harder than curling ever has been. And if you're any good at it, you deserve a medal.

Someone called all the newspapers in New York and told them I'd died. I've been told by almost everyone it was an ex-wife - I've had a few so it's hard to pinpoint which one - but who knows for sure?

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

I don’t know if I’m the right person to be doing jokes about religion; in the past few months, I’ve become religious, I’ve started to believe in god, creationism and intelligent design, and the reason that I now believe in god and creationism and intelligent design is because of Professor Richard Dawkins. Because when I look at something as complex and intricate and beautiful as Professor Richard Dawkins, I don’t think that just could’ve evolved by chance! Professor Richard Dawkins was put there by god to test us, like fossils. And facts.