Funny quotes about german
Dylan Moran quotesYou're talking to a modern, nice, affable German person and they're saying to you something like 'You know, vell, it's a critical time now for Germany within Europe, also globally, economically ve are pretty good, ve have been better. But ve are very vibrant in the theater and arts...' and all the time you'll be listening to this, you're thinking Mmm, yeah, mmm... Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler...
Robin Williams quotes[Imitating a Frenchman] Fuck you Americans! Uncultured, crass Americans! We hate all of you! Fu- the Germans are here! Hello Americans! We love you!
I was once on a German talk show, and this woman said to me, "Mr. Williams, why do you think there is not so much comedy in Germany?" And I said, "Did you ever think you killed all the funny people?"
Emo Phillips quotesActually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist.
Jim Gaffigan quotesEver wonder what people got Jesus for Christmas? It's like, "Oh great, socks. You know I'm dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They'll go great with my sandals. What am I, German?"
Steven Wright quotesIn my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out."
Sarah Silverman quotesThe Holocaust would never have happened if black people lived in Germany in the 1930s and 40s … well, it wouldn't have happened to Jews.
Chris Rock quotesYou'd got a baseball game, or a football game, basketball game, "USA! USA! USA!" Hey, calm down! Got a little German on it, don't you think?
Rowan Atkinson quotes[welcoming people to Hell] The French, are you here? If you'd just like to come down here with the Germans, I'm sure you'll have plenty to talk about.
Katt Williams quotesFirst of all white people, please stop putting those lil blue leashes on your children, PLEASE STOP DOIN THAT! that is only entertainment for niggas. thats all that is! we be excited then a motha fucka 'just look at him look at hi-' that's why white kids grow up and kill everybody in the god damn school cuz you done treat him like a German Shepperd ever since they was three!
Frankie Boyle quotesThere's going to be a Royal wedding! Ironically I don't get a day off for the wedding as I work part time as an Al-Qaeda sniper. If William's marriage is half as happy as his mum and dad's then Kate might as well cut her own brake cables now. William's dad of course had an affair with Camilla and his mum slept with Englishmen, Americans, and an Egyptian before finally being fucked by that Frenchman. Charles broke Diana's heart... Ten years before a steering column mashed what was left of it. Let's not forget that night. We all know where we were when Diana died. I for one was weaving around Paris in a white Fiat. You know we haven't had a royal assassination in ten years. Let's get rid of her, let's replace her with Martine McCutcheon, and so at last I can wank to the twenty pound note again. If the British Royal Family keep marrying outside the aristocracy, it won't be long before they'll hardly have any German blood left in them.
They say that the Olympics is going to rekindle English national pride. I mean, for £9.2 billion they could have written “Fuck off Germany” onto the moon.
John Oliver quotesA blonde, German woman with spiky hair...walked up to the plane and said 'There are busses outside that you will be loaded on to. You will be told what will happen to you when you reach your destination.' And all I could think in my head, was, 'I am not getting on those fucking buses. No, no, I have seen too many Oscar-winning movies. I know how this story ends. I know what you do to people who look like me. If I'm getting on any bus, it's with the blond family over there.'
Will Ferrell quotesDiscovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which, of course, in German means a whale's vagina.
Bob Saget quotesI have the brain of a German Shepard and the body of 16-year-old boy. They’re both in my car and I want you to see them.
