Hitler ended up in a ditch covered in petrol on fire...so, that's fun. And that's funny. Because he was a mass-murdering f**khead!
For those of you who don't speak French, by the way, all of that was fucking funny.
It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.
....maybe fear is God's way of saying, "Pay attention, this could be fun.
On the song 'Funk Soul Brother': "If you covered a broom handle with oil and shoved it up my arse, then put me on a trampoline, in a lift, I could write a better song on the walls."
I just want to be killer funny. You know kick ass piss in your pants run out of the theatre and rip you dick off and throw yourself into traffic funny!
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!
I sit at my hotel at night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny.
Comedy clubs have brick walls behind the performer. Bricks make you funny. When I'm in front of a fireplace, I'm hilarious.
It's hard to dance if you just your lost wallet. "Whoa! Where's my wallet? But, hey this song is funky."
There's a guy in the audience with a distinctive laugh. I hope that guy is miked. The only problem with having a distinctive laugh is I know exactly when that guy isn't laughing. "Oh, distinctive laugh doesn't think that joke was funny!"
I was once on a German talk show, and this woman said to me, "Mr. Williams, why do you think there is not so much comedy in Germany?" And I said, "Did you ever think you killed all the funny people?"
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