Funny quotes about english
Frankie Boyle quotesThey say that the Olympics is going to rekindle English national pride. I mean, for £9.2 billion they could have written “Fuck off Germany” onto the moon.
Michael McIntyre quotes"We don't need your English bastard pounds! We're our own country, we'll have our own bloody money, eh?!" "Would you like your own currency?" "Ah, it's complicated mathematically. Let's just have yours with our photos, I think that's the best way!"
John Oliver quotesI'm really white. I'm English white, that's basically turbo white. My skin is borderline translucent. If I'm standing, and the sun is behind me, I'm a functioning x-ray.
Billy Connolly quotesI've sworn all my life. I'd swear all the time and I think it's rather good language. People say it's limited vocabulary that makes you swear well I don't think so. Cause my vocabulary I know at least ohh one hundred and twenty seven words. And I still prefer fuck. You see I've never found the English equivalent for fuck off. And it isn't 'go away'. Cause go away kind of dissipates doesn't it? Go awayyyyyy. Go awayyyyyy, shooooo. Shooooo. It's not conscious like FUCK OFF! It always works you know. And you never read, fuck off he hinted.
Frank Carson quotesAn Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind of a joke?"
An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: "What have you brought?" He said: "I brought a pair of knickers." They asked: "What has that got to do with Christmas?" He said "They're Carol's."
