Funny quotes about drink
Craig Ferguson quotesDr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde is a metaphor for alcoholism. He drinks a potion, becomes a monster. I know exactly how he feels.
Dylan Moran quotesVodka! That's a child's drink, why am I drinking this stupid drink, oh and why am I on a traffic island?
There are two types of wine essentially, and everybody knows this. There’s the one where you drink it and go, "Mmmm, well that’s ok, can we get 8 of those please, give us 8 of those." There’s the other one, you know, where you go "Ga…bt…jesus, WHAT is that?" Very, very occasionally I concede you will hit a subtle one. You know, where you go "Ga…ba…ah, actually that’s not that bad, that is. It’s quite nice."
The most dangerous drink is gin. You have to be really, really careful with that. And you also have to be 45, female and sitting on the stairs. Because gin isn't really a drink, it's more a mascara thinner. "Nobody likes my shoes!" "I made... I made fifty... fucking vol-au-vents, and not one of you... not one of you... said 'Thank you.'" And my favourite: "Everybody, shut up. Shut up! This song is all about me."
[Tequila] is not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone.
George Carlin quotesI knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Mitch Hedberg quotesI went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass of milk. I said, "Dude, you are a cow. The metamorphosis is complete. Don't fall asleep or I will tip you over!"
If a drink was ice cold, it would be impossible to drink. Because it would be solid. Here's a drink, Mitch - it's ice cold. I guess I could lick it.
What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.
Robin Williams quotesAnd if you want a linguistic adventure, go drinking with a Scotsman. Cause you can't fucking understand them before.
Lewis Black quotesIf you don't drink 56 bottles of water a week, scientists say you should take a garden hose at the end of the week and shove it up your ass.
Is milk good or bad?... I rest my case. You don't know. You don't know anymore, and a lot of you are sitting there thinking "Fuck, I'm an adult and I don't need to drink that shit anymore!"
Richard Pryor quotesI had to stop drinkin', cuz I got tired of waking in my car driving ninety.
Woody Allen quotesI'm not a drinker — my body will not tolerate spirits. I had two Martinis on New Year's Eve and I tried to hijack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.
