Funny quotes about dress
Bo Burnham quotesMy ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish. She used to like to dress up as herself and then act like a f*ckin' bitch all the time.
Dov Davidoff quotesI like to dress up as a referee and walk into a Foot Locker. You gotta try this. It freaks them out. They get all insecure. The guy’s like, ‘Wait a second, can I help you?’ I was like, ‘Can I help you, man? I, too, am a referee. Maybe we could work it out together.’ And then someone will ask me for a size 10, and I’ll be like, ‘Do I look like I work here, chief?’
Adam Sandler quotes
Ellen DeGeneres quotesNormal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
Chelsea Handler quotesI don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.
Noel Fielding quotesThis is not a dress. This is a sacred robe of the ancient psychedelic monks.
Tim Vine quotesThe other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it.
Russell Brand quotesWhat about the rumours David Cameron smoked drugs as a schoolboy? What worries me most is that he dressed up as a schoolboy to do it, the pervert.
Greg Giraldo quotes
Charles 'Chic' Murray quotesShe had been married so often she bought a drip-dry wedding dress.
Will Ferrell quotesWill Ferrell (George Bush) ... I've chosen to schedule this impromptu address at night, because quite frankly, every time I speak during the day the stock market goes in the crapper ... so sorry Asian markets, you take the hit on this one ...
Tommy Cooper quotesA man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts. A woman comes up to him and says "What are you supposed to be?" The man says "A premature ejaculation." "What?" says the woman. The man explains "I've just come in my pants."
Frank Carson quotesI'm staying in a lovely hotel, dressing robe behind the door, lovely fluffy sheets - took me a half an hour getting my suitcase closed.
Wanda Sykes quotesI don't understand this whole Elvis thing. There are dead people in my family that we miss and love dearly, but shoot, we don't dress up like them and do impressions. I'll show up at the family reunion in a dirty t-shirt and a bald cap - 'Look, everybody, I'm Uncle Earl.'
