Funny quotes about dress

A casino in South Dakota was robbed by a man dressed as a mummy. The police described the suspect as anywhere between 25 and 8,000 years old.

Its not easy being a man you know. I had to get dressed today… and there are other pressures.

If you are an adult, and you are planning to dress up on Halloween...don't. I will find you. I will hurt you.

Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something.

I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal - high enough so you can look up her dress

I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you're really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flip-flops, you're saying: "Hope I don't get chased today. Be nice to people in sneakers."

If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.

To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet ... you can hide but you can't run.

Your head is as empty as a hermit's address book.

I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which.

I generally grow this beard out around Christmas. Then, I like to go to malls dressed as Jesus, and what I do is generally walk through the mall, just saying, 'No, no, this wasn't what it was supposed to be about, people.' But if there's a Santa at the mall, I'll walk right up to him and I'll go, 'Listen, fat man, you're just a clown at my birthday party.'

Girls dress sexy, right? Even sweat pants now -- kind of tight, got the writing on the ass, little messages. Who knows what it's gonna say? It's like a little fortune cookie right on your ass: 'Sexy. Baby Doll. Juicy. Look at my ass.' I'm like, 'Excellent. I've been meaning to read more.' I'm tearing through five, six asses a day. Sometimes, I just read half and stick a bookmark in it.