Funny quotes about death
Eddie Izzard quotesIf you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, "Heimlich maneuver," and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say "Heimlich maneuver" when you're choking to death.
And the druids, they were into sex and death in an interesting night-time telly sort of way.
Someone's killed 100,000 people. We're almost going, "Well done! You killed 100,000 people? You must get up very early in the morning! I can't even get down the gym. Your diary must look odd: 'Get up in the morning, death, death, death, death, death, death, death – lunch – death, death, death – afternoon tea – death, death, death – quick shower …' "
Bill Hicks quotesToday a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather.
George Carlin quotesDeath is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
Mitch Hedberg quotesI played in a death-metal band. People either loved us or hated us. Or they thought we were OK.
Woody Allen quotesI'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Sex and death are two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
