Funny quotes about brother
Dylan Moran quotesOn the song 'Funk Soul Brother': "If you covered a broom handle with oil and shoved it up my arse, then put me on a trampoline, in a lift, I could write a better song on the walls."
Jimmy Carr quotesJimmy - How olds your boyfriend? Guy in Audence - He's my brother. Jimmy - Well stop fucking him!
Mitch Hedberg quotesWhen I was a boy, I laid in my twin size bed, wondering where my brother was.
When I was a boy, I laid in my twin size bed, wondering where my brother was.
Emo Phillips quotes
Jim Gaffigan quotesPeople get burned out in big families, you can even see it in the naming of children. Like the first kid, "You were named after Grandma." The seventh kid, "You were named after a sandwich I had. Now get your brother, Reuben."
Dave Chappelle quotesEvery group of brothers should have at least one white guy in it. Im serious for safety, cuz when the shit goes down someone is gonna need to talk to the police.
Bill Cosby quotesAs I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by "survival of the fittest."
Bill Burr quotesThere's no 'brothers' when it comes to white people. We are just complete individuals. We don't care about each other. He's not my brother; my brother lives in Ohio -- I don't know that guy.
George Lopez quotesGeorge: Why've you had a grudge against your brother for 15 years? Benny: We Lopezes are a proud people... George: You have a birthday lunch at Denny's every month. We're not that proud!
Bo Burnham quotesYouTube is a place for people to share their ideas. If by people you mean 13 year old girls and by ideas you mean how they love the Jonas Brothers.
Zach Galifianakis quotesMy brother has ADD, which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn't laugh because he got distracted by my shoe strings.
Martin Lawrence quotesThere better not be a black person in here that says they don't know nobody in jail... 'cause that's bullshit. Ray-Ray, Earl, Craig, Shorty Tim, Lil' Reg, all them motherfuckers in jail... Shonda's little brother... all of 'em, in jail... chillin'.
Jim Jefferies quotesI don’t care if you’re a brother, a sister a mother or a father: you’re nothing unless you’ve washed your disabled brother’s cock before taking him to a prostitute!
Jeff Foxworthy quotesI have two daughters. I live next door to my brother, who has three daughters, so almost every day, I have to drive them to school. And last year, while I was driving them to school, we ran out of gas in the carpool lane because my wife does not realize it's actually legal for women to purchase gasoline, so... But we run out of gas and people are honking the horn and having to back up and go around and the kids are mortified. So the next morning, when I took them, I made sure that tank was as full as it could possibly be, and I pull up to the front of the school, and they have these assistant teachers that help open the door. And I'm not even trying to be funny. I roll down the passenger window and yell out, "I've got gas this morning!"
