Funny Noel Fielding quotes

I couldn’t have invented crisps. [...] I don't really want to be known as the man who invented crisps. [...] I invented apples. [...] I invented pandas, and caps. I invented soil.

[When asked if he sees the future with people wearing shirts with his face on it] I’d like that, yeah. Teenage girls with my face on their breasts. Is that what you want me to say? [...] I’d like it. Everyone would like it. I think everyone should be made to wear body-suits which are collages of my face.

No means yes in grasshopper language.

That's the authentic punk dance. It's like a child dizzy on lemonade.

I'm going to name drop like an idiot now, but Bono rang me up once, right? I don't know how he got my number, but I, ever so stupidly, and obviously thought it was one of my mates mocking about. So I was like, "Yeah, whatever." And it was him, but I even went to him, "That's not even a good Irish accent!"