Funny Noel Fielding quotes

I've got it all in here ultra violets, flying saucers, strawberry bootlace come on get involved..

Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday week I'll be living on an island with a small Indian boy.

Yeah, big deal! *points to scar on his stomach* See that? Straighteners, Nicky Clarke, hottest you can get. Fell asleep on them when I was pissed.

Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness.

Are you possessed... by a twat?

I've had a really weird day, some joker threw bamboo in the penguin enclosure. They all vaulted out. It was a nightmare, it took me all morning to get them back in.

They call me the confuser. Is he a man...is he a woman...? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.

Last time you bring me pie, I cut into it, with my tiny pie cutter, and millions of birds flew out hitting me in the eyes and the temples...it was a trick pie!

Never try and go on a solo mission on your own.

Science teachers and the mentally ill, that’s all Jazz is for.

You can't just go gay, its not like buying a ladder.

The tie's a multi purpose accessory, y'know, belt, school boy, Rambo.

Goth Juice... The most powerful hairspray known to man. Made from the tears of Robert Smith.

This is not a dress. This is a sacred robe of the ancient psychedelic monks.

I don’t think I’d have done comedy if I was born eighty years ago [...] I’d have been a lord. Shooting people that were on my land [...] With a wig, yeah. And some crisps.