Funny Marc Maron quotes

We need the children of Indonesia and the Philippines to manufacture our freedom of choice.

There are also always those burnt, hard kernels at the bottom that don't pop. You know why they don't pop? They don't pop because they have integrity.

The next evolutionary step is into the screen.

The bile makes it better. I am an information wasting machine - 100s of words a day.

When you actually meet the devil and he offers you a deal most artists eventually negotiate.

Comedy is obviously a matter of personal taste and the world always needs a clown and some people have no taste at all and any clown will do.

For my next trick I will make everyone understand me.

Have you ever had one of those moments when you look up and realize that you're one of those people you see on the train talking to themselves?

I'm proud to be part of a generation where reading is a 'look.'

I feel bad for people who have never been addicted to anything, because they're the real losers. You want to know why? Because they don't know what it's like to really want something -- and then get it again and again and again.

They used to have a smoking section at most airports. No more. They now have these glass-encased rooms. You're not just a smoker, you're an example to other people. You're an exhibit at a futuristic zoo.

I used to do a lot of drugs. I didn't stop because I didn't enjoy them; I stopped because I couldn't handle the commitment.

How complicated can ice cream flavors be? How much can you put in there? I mean, when the flavor's something like banana ice cream with caramel, fudge chunks, cheddar goldfish and pennies -- you've got to draw a line there.

It's not all about love. That's half of it... The other half is about that moment you have with yourself when you're looking in the mirror, and you just go, 'Oh man. I'm going to compromise my dreams, get fat, sick, old and die someday. I kind of want to have someone around for that.'

You get all excited to give her the ring, and it's real emotional, and you give it to her, and she cries. And a second later, you're like, 'Damn, I could have had a car.'

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