Funny Joey Adams quotes
A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
People are still willing to do an honest day's work. The trouble is they want a week's pay for it.
Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late - and strike oil.'
Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.
The difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the horses must win.
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.
Bankruptcy is a legal proceeding in which you put your money in your pants pocket and give your coat to your creditors.
Most people play a fair game of golf - If you watch them.
A bikini is like a barbed-wire fence. It protects the property without obstructing the view.
We've made pretty good progress. We're the type of offense where when we need to score in crucial situations, we're going to put points on the board.
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