Funny Groucho Marx quotes

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

Go, and never darken my towels again.

Humor is reason gone mad.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

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