Funny Eddie Griffin quotes

We've lost a bunch on the road, I don't even know how many. It's a relief to get this one.

Makes no matter if I'm performing in a grocery store, you're always gonna get 150%.

Y'all can relax about that Osama bin Laden shit coz I'm a handle the shit myself. Coz I can't understand how they can't find the motherfucker, six foot six with a nappy beard and a towel on his head, while they can find my cousin four foot eleven in Compton. Nigga worth half a billion dollars, just look for the cave with the satellite hook up, if there's a Rolls Royce parked in front of the cave, nigga probably in there. You walk in and there's velvet paintings of Saddam Hussein, I think the nigga in there, I mean who do they got looking for this guy Colon Powell?

You give me 5 Bloods, 5 Crips 4 Mexicans and 3 rednecks, this shit would have been over. Niggas and Mexicans, we go over there and steal all the tracks off their tanks, them tanks will be on bricks. We come back home like "Who want some tank tracks?". And y'all know rednecks love hunting , a redneck you give that nigga rifle with a scope he can hit a fly off a deer's ear from 500 yards. They don't fuck around and they all have a hunting dog named Petey, you know them pointer motherfuckers. You drop them in Afghanistan Petey gonna point at the right cave "Mofucker in there, motherfucker in there!! I smell him!!".

My cell phone fell off my lap. I was reaching for it in the back.

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