Funny Denis Leary quotes

My parents used to beat the living shit out of me, okay? And I'm glad they did, and I'm looking forward to beating the shit out of my kids!

My foreign policy? Fuck you! My domestic policy, FUCK YOU!

Don't buy the toys that make the noise!

Oh yeah jerking off is like an aerobic thing for me now man, I'm 40, I do it everyday, I do it everyday. Hell, I've even gone beyond porno, I'm back to regular network TV.

I've good kids, I love my kids. I try to bring them up the right way, not spanking them. I find that I don't have to spank them. I find that waving the gun around pretty much gets the same job done!

And you can't smoke in any of this coffee places. Can't smoke at Starbucks, can't smoke in dunkin' doughnuts... I'm pretty sure coffee was invented by people who were smoking anyways. And they just wanted to invent something so they can stay up late and SMOKE FUCKIN' MORE! That's my theory. Just ask me or Columbo, he'll back me up on this one.

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