Funny Christian Finnegan quotes

Jesus is a powerful guy in Hollywood. Not quite as powerful as Vin Diesel, but powerful.

Relationships are a lot like yard sales. They look really fun from a couple hundred feet away, but eventually you realize it's just a bunch of crap you don't need.

There comes a point where the disappointments in your life accrue faster than you can find external forces to blame them on.

The thing is, I hate political comedy. I personally loathe it.

I'm not an alcoholic. I just drink that way.

Basically, I got into stand-up because I’m too egocentric to be an actor and not disciplined enough to be a writer.

Jeez, you'd think the people in this bank had never seen someone playing castanets before.

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