Funny Bo Burnham quotes

Humour is often linked to shared experience. Like, a guy gets up and says, "Have you noticed public restrooms have really inefficient hand-dryers?" Oh my God, yes I have, hahaha, really good point, they should... fix that. It's good to know that somebody finally gets me!

My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish. She used to like to dress up as herself and then act like a f*ckin' bitch all the time.

Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.

I'm constipated, couldn't give a shit.

For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.

Where are all the sour patch parents?

Dick's and vagina's are like Coke and Pepsi, I strongly prefer one but my dad thinks they both taste the same.

What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy.

Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't.

When life give you lemons... you probably just found lemons.

YouTube is a place for people to share their ideas. If by people you mean 13 year old girls and by ideas you mean how they love the Jonas Brothers.

I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.

And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die.

When life gets you down, make a comforter.