Funny Bill Cosby quotes

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

Old is always fifteen years from now.

Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.

Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.

You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.

My father walked to school 4 o'clock every morning with no shoes on, uphill, both ways, in 5 feet of snow and he was thankful.

The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble.

The weatherman is always right. It's just his timing that's off.

A grandchild is God's reward for raising a child.

The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine.

A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.

Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.

Nobody ever says, "Can I have your beets?"

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