Comedian Zach Galifianakis
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You know you're an alcoholic when the bartender knows your name... and you've never been to that bar before.
I like to read the Bible in really public places, like on the subway... and just mutter things to myself like "Oh, bullshit!"
I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
You know you're getting fat when your socks don't fit.
Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?